Do they really shine!!??

Do you believe in Stars?
The daily horoscopes?

I ain’t an ardent believer of them but yes I’m curious to know my horoscope and do surf through that daily “stars” column in various newspapers…may be I just forget what was written there even before I reach to the sports column but for a second it makes a difference to me, if something is gloomy in there I’m disturbed for a second and if things are fine I just smile and smoothly start browsing the comic strips on the page…

But sometimes that piece of writing is tremendously surprising! I get a feeling that it is written ONLY for me and no other virgo in the whole world…it seems as if in all those the millions of copies of the newspaper that were circulated this space was dedicated to ME! intended to convey that message to me…

This precisely was the case today…

I was (and am!) going through a “nerve-wracking” phase these days…trying to make some decisions…thinking a lot about life and in general…
And the first two words of my today horoscope were “Stop Worrying!” and then it asked me to do some Yoga exercises to “bust” the stress and then rejuvenate and boost my confidence up!
No I’m not planning to do any Yoga or mental exercises but this just left a stream of thought in my mind…

Have u ever felt aisa kuch?

Thank You

Into the life of my wild world
You made the shine to it;
The vivid colours painted in speach,
Your wit, charming smile that I heard
With out seeing and feeling, you
Added comfort and warmth.
I look upon the past year,
Fondly bringing forth happiness,
as youWere there smiling, cherishing, cheering me
Your presence has its special place
With a beautiful smiling cute face
Lately with your photo in the scene.
I could write for hours,use the finest words;
Fill the pages upon pages with verse,
But needed are only two words
That two words speaks everything"T H A N K Y O U ". just
Two words, two syllable so tiny,
These words are but it speaks so much,
For making my past year so memorable.
Memories will last long time, with no idea
Whether we could ever meet again,
Yet I could cherish with lot of memories in solitude
For years to come and years to come ..


thanks dhakan - sunamoon!!

Dyslexia at its best

Seems like for past few hours i have either had the adjustment disorder, or autistic disorder, or anti-social personality disorder, or avoidant personality disorder or a 'colourworld' combination of these.

Suffice it to say, I've been a little(if u can call that "little" :D) off.
Still though, I am increasingly feeling like the only sane person surrounded by a lot of insane and insensitive people. Wonder if makes me more 'separate' or does it brings in me the more of me. With sanity all elusive around ya, one sure climbs the ladder of maturity with high flux. It brings in a different flavour, a different whiff.
Reminds me of a very nice pal..my sweetheart, my dhakan, my snooty weak-fat ass.. Though smart and brainy, she just never got out of her insanity and finally compromised to live in the whirlpool of the normal mind. Little appreciations from people mattered more to her than her own. Still a Pal of mine, despite the things happened between us which most people will not relate to normalency and the way we..ahmm!! 'I' reacted ..would strictly not follow the normal route(As most of the people who know the story ..straight forward disagreed with the stand i took..losing my dignity and all that...i just say SHUT UP!!take a hike..and who said i am normal :p).. anyways she is light years away from my real self.

Hmm.. i shud some day blog more, not to be read by others but to understand myslf more. Ha!

Then they say that how can two people who lived together(not literally..but dnt mind tht either:D) all the time cant understand each other fully! Cmmon! Do u understand urslf? The ONE with whom u spent every single sec !Do I know who I am and what I want?
Well if I say yes, i may be lying like any other human around me, its almost as if I am wandering through the thick fog that surrounds the people I love and care about.
Can I penetrate the fog?
Do I want to?
Or am I better off alone in my own world?

Btw on a tangent.. Dhakan u are very close to my heart...


...near my lungs, hanging on my food pipe :D ;) luv ya!!

Evil once blessed

What pity brought him here?
Standing on this lifeless death row
Howling unrestrained of the left soul
He longed for that last breath
Pain, Sorrow, Misery he could master
But there’s now a departure that awaits him
Loneliness surrounds this hour
Hearing those bitter sounds of the darkness
He talks to the light of shadow
Now that the walls of his bower
Are seen closing in about him
Deserted and detested he walks
Hooded and cloaked amidst those nights
Disguised as the crone of the devilry
Sneaking and haunting through our time
Rumors of evil grew in with him
Whispers of the nameless fear
He couldn’t have carried this for long
He stayed with evil, belonged to bless
Wouldn’t have imagined this fate
Thinking of that good and green past
Dark have been his dreams of late
He strayed out of his thought
Lingered on with this cruelty and malice
Until all the world had changed and
Long years of his life were utterly spent
He would hate and love himself
Would never get rid of his deed
He did had a part to play for good or ill
Though the time for him was over
For now he must decide the indecisive
Either embrace the wickedness of this evil
Or embrace his own destruction!

In the long run we all die!!

I am charting into an unknown territory for a while - thinking.

why is it so difficult to be old?
why a life lived so well, content has to end in pain and misery?
don't we deserve something better after such a tumultous life?
why are running this race if it has to end in death?

Why this title!!!??

it is said that "the Universe is a big sphere with its centre everywhere and boundary nowhere"...going by the saying,
since the center of the universe can be anywhere, it might as well be at my blog. but this raises another question...where does my blog reside?

Since I open it from my workstation or my friends watever!! does it reside at my workstation or does it reside at the ISPs servers? and now that you're reading this piece and are at my blog, does it mean the centre of universe resides at your workstation?

I guess the wise guy who quoted the statement about the Universe understood this dilemma.how does one get out of this???well since no one has so far claimed the ownership of the centre of the universe ( none that I know of), I in the name of God, on this day claim to be the owner of this most significant insignificant of the universe.

Now that I've resolved this problem, from tomorrow onwards I'll move onto more saner issues.

When chips are down....

I see the ruins and cry in despair
its a pain I no longer want to bear
With gloom and darkness looming in air
I dread, yes the end is near.

I turn back and see
the dead, the decaying and a hoarse plea
Oh GOD, please let our souls free
I stand and stare, something is amiss within me.

The battle is lost, the war is not over
I see a light piercing this blur
The blood in my veins boils in a spur
its time to rise and become what I were.

The road to victory is barren and full of fear
I feel tired, the pain is severe
I fight the fatigue and walk alone
pledging to fight till the GOD makes me one of HIS own..

what the hell!!

To all the people who have managed to affront themselves by reading this blog

Let opinion be taken away, and no man will think himself wronged. If no man shall think himself wronged, then is there no more any such thing as wrong. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

however, if this does not help, try this:

If thou art pained by any external thing, it is not this that disturbs thee, but thy own judgment about it. And it is in thy power to wipe out this judgment now.- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

As pointed as these references might be, i would save my last answer for this :

It's nothing personal...

Now whether its sufficient or not, would depend entirely upon the person reading it. My job is to pontificate and appear intellectual. ur role is to play dumb and post an occasional comment. hope things are understood

I've had quite a few unsolicited comments about people not being happy with what is being written here. rest assured that this contrarian nightmare would endure. if you are not happy at the way things are written here, please click the top right button on your screen. definitely, i could do without such visits. i would rather be visited by the super-secretive brotherhood of whatever bloggers or some other illuminati bullshit society than the current crop of folks who dont know their a$$ from a dot in the web url.

another point. i dont blog for popularity or visit statistics. i blog because i cherish this one outlet of creativity that is still open for me. because this is one thing i am still good at. or i think i am. whatever.

i think i have been sufficiently insulting to everybody in general. i wont apologize because the people whom this was intended to would never accept that they read this and the ones who would accept aren't the intended targets ayway.

one last piece of advice (if i can call it one). stay away from things you dont understand. you would only make a fool of yourself. you wont understand the culture that goes along with any virtual activity. visitors expect this blog to be generally truthful while taking some humorous liberties.

you see, i am a extreme rebel. to understand me is to be schizophrenic, paranoid & logical. i listen to old classic rock. i am the woodstock generation. frozen in time to an era of psychedelia, i am unrestrained, wild & untrammelled. you cant understand me. cant hope to. most people i know, including myself, havent gotten close.

what i value most over all other things are my personal convictions. At the end of the day, i come back to myself. in a daily face-off, i consistently battle the rights & wrongs. believe me, its a heck of a lot easier to be unpopular among a bunch of people than to have a difference of opinion with yourself. thats the reason why i tick. thats why i write what i do. and thats why i would continue doing so. i dont mind rattlling a few bushes in the path. Unpopular i might be, Unethical i wont.

As the immortal AC/DC say.. "For Those who are about to rock, We Salute You"