Holy Hell!!!

(Imagine this)

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!

The two biggies join hands
For admissions to the next academic year there would be just one entrance exam to all MBA courses in India. Two biggies of the entrance exam scene in India IIMs(CAT) and XLRI(XAT) will be joining hands to set the paper. The new exam will be called BULL-XIT.

”Screw anything carrying two sharpened HB pencils on him/her “ , I give my take on the question paper….

INSTRUCTIONS

Before the test
1.Do not open the seal of the booklet until asked to do so.

2.Calculator,Cell phones, Laptops, Moms, Drawing instruments (this list is indicative not exhaustive) not allowed inside the hall. If you have them on you keep them on the desk. We are fully aware that you have the ability and the time to call your girlfriends / boyfriends during the FREE TIME in between the test. Don’t even think about it.

3.Use only HB pencils. We suggest the ones that you can purchase from the 888th shop on the GT Road, when you are coming from Kashmir

4.Ensure that you personal data is entered correctly.

5.Re-confirm your TEST REG No. Add the digits in the number. Multiply it by 328656324632. Divide the results by 324325432. Find the factorial of that number. If this new number leaves a reminder of 32,47,324,429 when divided by 324,89,4,87 then you candidature will be valid. The institutes have no responsibility if you calculate this wrongly. Once again….. NO CALCULATORS allowed.

At the start of the test
1.As soon as the signal to start the test is given break the seal . Let the games begin.

2.This booklet contains 32 pages including blank ones. Please count them as soon as you break the seal. If there are less than 32 then rest assured you are not missing out on anything. If we have set the paper as we think we have then you won’t get past the first 15 questions in any section anyway.

During the test
1.Mark you answers clearly. Divide each bubble into three sections. One part should be shaded by our recommended HB pencils. One by blue ball point pen and the other by a black one. Our OMR reader are specially programmed to read bubbles marked only in this way so be extremely careful.

2.Rough work if any should only be done in the space next to the questions. Use the two blank pages in the end to draw caricatures of the invigilators if you have the time.

3.Follow the instructions of the invigilator.

Negative marking
1.Each question carries some marks. That’s all we are gonna say.

2.For the first 5 wrong answers in each section 1/3rd of the marks assigned to the question is gonna be deducted. Next 5 will fetch you -11/12. Next five will fetch you -13/7. Beyond that it doesn’t mater if you get a question right or wrong. We will deduct some marks anyways . JUST IN CASE. For every third wrong answer in each section ..candidates wearing black undies will be fined an additional -1/3 marks.

ALL THE BEST ;0)


SECTION 1

Choose the word closest in meaning to
1 – Paramonteristicalonicyst
(a) good (b) very good (c)either a or b (d) I know but I won’t tell you

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40 – Arrange the sentences in correct order.
a) It’s getting harder to breathe
b) Jimmy is the name of my pet dog.
c) Do you know it’s very old outside?
d) This one does not fit.


SECTION 2

1 – There is a box with 25 apples and 36 bananas and 43 guavas. 15 apples are bad. 13 bananas are bad . 1 guava is bad. 1 apple suffers from MPD it thinks it is guava for the first 5 mins and banana for the next five. 5 bananas are political bananas … they talk a lot and engage in a lot of rhetoric with the guavas. One of the fruits is drawn at random. What are the chances that the fruit drawn is a banana which is actually the apple who is thinking that it is a banana.
a).987654 b).987643 c).987654 d).987634

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40 – A hare and a tortoise start from two point A and B at a distance of 56kms. The tortoise covers half the distance and then goes back to the starting point. The hare in the meantime covers the distance 6.3 times. The speed of the tortoise is always half that of the hare. The hare travels at a speed which is equal to the reminder when e^0.63867 * 437^3.77543 is divded by e^3.3221. For how long have they been walking
a) 27.34 hrs b)27.33 hrs c)27.23 hrs d)27 hrs


SECTION 3

1 – The answer to this question is
(a) b (b) a (c) d (d) c

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40 – Ramnarayan has a sweetshop . He makes gulab jamuns, samosas , jalebis and spicy Indian pan crust pizzas. He has 34 jalebis, 98 gulab jamus, 56 samosas and 104 spicy Indian pan crust pizzas. He want to make 56 packets subject to the following conditions….

-There has to be at least 4 jalebis ,6 gulab jamuns, 1 samosa and 2 spicy Indian pan crust pizza in every box
-He can choose to put in a few bad apples from the question in the previous section
-Spicy Indian pan crust pizzas give him double the profit that jalebis give which is .65434 times the profit that gulab jamuns give which is .2323434 times the profit that samosas give.
-He has one 56 minutes to make the packets and each packet takes 2mins and 16nanoseconds to make.

Which of the following seems right to you?
a)8 packets of 4jalebis, 7gulab jamuns, 3 samosas and 2 spicy Indian pan crust pizzas in 16 mins 128 nanoseconds(provided his timing estimates were right)
b)He acing the XAT 2006 quant section if he can really manage all those calculations.
c)He closes shutter to his sweet shop and opens Career Flyer. A MBA coaching institute run by some of the brightest minds in the country
d)He eats a few gulab jamuns, jalebis , samosas and spicy Indian pan crust pizza so that the calculations seem easier.



END OF PAPER


Disclaimer : The author has started to imagine things and also become slightly schizophrenic after sitting through CAT2005 and XAT 2006.