Murder In Loo!!

Warning : Absolute No brainer.Its not even funny.But to be frank , I do not care.I enjoyed putting it down.And that what I wanted.And I am not drunk.I am plain crazy.

Beep.Beep.Nothing happens.Beep Beep.My left eyelid sleepily pulls up like the shutter of a shop being pulled up.Beep Beep.Beep.Beep.Yaaaaawn.I sit up on the bed groggily and reach out to switch off the alarm in my cellphone.I try to feel the cool breeze on my face , try to smell the flowers , try to feel lucky to be alive and try to think something on the lines of " Wow.This is a beautiful day!".But nothing of this sort is felt and I look back at my pillow and imagine myself sleeping open mouthed.My imagination changes channels and I see my professor waving a big pink coloured "F" wrapped in yellow ribbons.The threat of getting the F grade makes me decide i have to get to class.I fish out my toothbrush and toothpaste. ( commercial sidenote :Close up gel toothpaste.Kill bad breath.Grab the close up confidence ! Now a 200 ml tube in just 12 rupees ! ding dong.) I walk upto the bathroom on my floor.I get to the washbasin.I stare at the mirror.I think I resemble Shahrukh Khan in a way.I lean in closer to the mirror.Look at those eyes.I am cute , I whisper to myself with a smirk.

"Never heard a girl say that to you though."

Huh ? Who said that.I turn around.Nobody.I know I should not have watched back to back movies last night.It does strange things to my hearing.

"And now don't brush too hard , lazybum....and dont look around like you have woken up on Jupiter , I am here , right here in your hand.Soft hands though , I must say."

I look at my right hand.I have my fingers curled around my toothbrush.Ok.I have never seen Michael Jackson reciting the Hanuman Chalisa.I have never seen George Bush singing "Roop tera mastaana" on CNN.And I will never see a toothbrush talking to me.These things are impossible.

"Now dont look like you have just seen Laloo Prasad Yadav in a Bikini.Its me,your toothbrush."

Me : Gosh.I feel like I have seen a Laloo Prasad Yadav without a bikini.How are you able to talk ?

Toothbrush : Just shut up .Lets talk about the Book meme you have been tagged with.

Me ( "caught-while-stealing-eggs" expression ) : Err...ahem....what book meme ?

Toothbrush : Now do you want me to jump and stick my bottom in your nose ? Its the stuff where you have to write/talk about the books you have read and all.TAGGED!

Me : Shit.was your daddy brush used by the CBI director ?

Toothbrush : Interpol chief.Now for the book meme.

Me : See.You can expect tendulkar to play for the Indian Kabaddi Team.But you can not expect me to talk about reading.I mean , I have minimal reading habits.Even my illitrate grand mother would have read more than I have.

Toothbrush: Shut up.Lets get started.Total number of books do you own ?

Me:Man,this is gonna take some counting.Lemme count.One.Two..Two...yeah...Three...umm...Three...Threee..Threeeeee

Toothbrush :Man , you are pathetic.I hate that I have to enter the mouth of someone as ill read as you are.

Me ( looking at my feet ) :Yeah...I know..actually I got my comics on rent , never bought them , you see and...

Toothbrush : Cut the crap.Last book you bought ?

Me : Ah , I know that."101 ways to eat a talking toothbrush."

Toothbrush ( suddenly looking up):Wha... Wow, that was scary.My bristles are trembling.Last book you read ?

Me ( with a wicked smile by now ) : I read the same one.

Toothbrush ( in a slow and cautious voice ) : You mean "11 ways to eat a talking toothbrush?".

Me ( with a "gulshan grover" lecherous expression ) : 101 ways to eat a talking toothbrush.You missed 90 ways.

Toothbrush ( voice a with a shade of trembling ) :"Huh...Bah ! ....I ...I once bashed up a shaving brush.And killed a shaving razor that threatened to shave me....he ...he he....Dont you think I am scared......Five books that mean a lot to you ?"

Me ( eyes fixed on the brush , smacking my lips , deliberate voice) : I wish I had some ketchup right now.About the 5 books..My experiments with toothbrushes , To kill a mocking toothbrush , The monk who ate his toothbrush , Harry Potter and the Half eaten Toothbrush and....

Toothbrush ( Eyes as wide as a toothpaste tube's cap , voice as choked as the paste in six year old toothpaste tube) : ...and ?

Me ( husshed voice ) : 101 ways to eat a talking toothbrush....

Toothbrush suddenly clutches its plastic chest , lets out a little cry , sheds off its bristles , and collapses in my hand.It is dead.Of a heart attack.

Me ( looking up at my image in the mirror ) :Man , I knew this book meme tagging thing would end up ugly.